I decided to make the world a better place. So far, I've reached the point of eating my own socks.
Let's begin with this video to make you feel better. It features cameos by a mythbusting walrus and genious, living plant Stephen Hawking.

On the subject of Stephen Hawking, did you know he's playable in Dungeons and Dragons?
It's true! Here are his stats:

Stephen Hawking
Level 25 Cosmologist
Neutral Good Human
Strength: 3
Dexterity: 2
Constitution: 10
Intelligence: 28
Wisdom: 20
Charisma: 12
Special Abilities: Time dilation at will, and Hawking Radiation. Any nongenius within a 60-foot radius take 10d6 radiation damage. Base movement: 6 ft/round
Special Equipment: Wheelchair of Translation +2

See more celebrities D&D'd here.
Bless you, Gary Gygax. May all geeks take your loot.

Which brings me to another amusing anekdote: Helvetica (the font) and the Atomium (the monument in Belgium) are both 50 years old! Isn't that fab? And did you know I was born on the same day as Sugar Ray Robinson, Bing Crosby and James Brown? And Weird Al and Martin Luther King III both were born October 23d! And a far nephew in my family was the person to save Belgium from the first German attack in WW2? He flood the river "De Rijn" so the Germans couldn't pass.

...

1% of the world has 3 nipples! That's humongously many people! And nipples are funny. Like blubber. The word blubber makes me smile. Cake makes me smile as well. As long as I can eat it though...

This entire text (except for the Stephen Hawking part) was based on facts and typed on a keyboard.